Sigurd Needs to Start an Advice Column
by Azrel
Summary: Billy needs to talk with someone, and his father isn't an option. His father is the problem. Sigurd is convenient though! And he did not ask for this.


Title: Sigurd Needs to Start An Advice Column

Author Sara Parker/Azrel/Ardeth30

Billy was getting… concerned. He'd never had a problem putting perverts in their place, or protecting those under his care-it was one of the things he was _good_ at, and he'd promised himself he wasn't going to fail like his father had. Even if it hadn't turned out the way he'd envisioned… he'd still done the best he could with the information he had; sometimes reminding himself of it helped.

What didn't was his father showing up and realizing less than thirty seconds of meeting Bart the pair of them had started dating ("I know neither of us are _technically_ not priests anymore, but I'm still willing to marry the two of you, just tell me when! If you won't pick a date and time, I will!")

It'd led to a… small crisis, and now here he was, seeking out of the wisest, calmest people he knew: Sigurd. Never mind that Sigurd was technically Bart's brother and might have a vested interest in his brother's happiness-Billy just wanted to make sure he was doing the right thing by dating Bart, and that he wouldn't do anything… rash. Just because he didn't want to end like his father didn't mean he had to react like a hurt child every time Jesiah showed approval every time he did something, right?

The Yggdrasil finally came around to a spot near Lahan's ruins during its trading run; it was the only place (so far) close enough to Citan and Fei's homestead-they were still up on the mountain-as well as the place Billy had set up. Billy got there early the next morning-so as to get this out of the way and on with his life. Sigurd knew Jesiah too. And to further help his aims, he really did have a bit of trade to do here: he'd been wanting to see if there was anything he could get to help security in his new building.

"Sigurd!" he called as he adjusted his backpack. Sigurd turned, slowing so Billy could catch up.

"Hey, Billy. I didn't expect to see you here so early."

"I didn't expect to be here so long either," he admitted. "But… I'm happy to have found you here. I need your advice."

Sigurd sighed, but didn't say, _And everyone else._ He'd brought it upon himself; if he'd been… as off the wall as Jesiah or Bart were, people wouldn't be so eager to come to him with all their problems. He'd be able to do a day's trading in peace! It'd be heaven. But he couldn't-yet- say that to Billy, who looked unhappy and wouldn't have hunted him down unless it was serious to him. Probably had to do with his kids or his father; Jesse was a handful at the best of times.

"Um. It's… my father. He wants to marry me and Bart, when we're ready. That's what's going on so far," Billy said brightly.

"And you're not sure if you're going to marry?" There, that should be a neutral enough tone. Please say you will, please please please…

"Well, not _now_. But… I don't know if I'm rejecting it out hand because _he_ brought it up-you know he and Mother were married young-or if I'm not ready. Has he... ever tried to match-make with you?"

"He knows better," Sigurd replied. "You know how he was limping there for awhile?"

"...Yes?"

"My aim's not as bad as Citan's is, and he got reminded of that."

Billy choked, trying to keep a laugh down. "Really? And who'd he try to get you with?"

"Anyone, really-he said he had a hankering to do a marriage ceremony for one of his family. If I didn't find someone he'd do it himself."

"Pretty brave for a drunk."

"...He seems to have been sobering up after that, but... who knows with him these days. If he isn't drinking himself to a stupor-that'd be an improvement."

"WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY POINT. Can you... can you just? I don't know, take him away on your ship for awhile? Keep him busy? Doesn't matter how long, as long as he's gone at least another 6 months or so!"

Sigurd raised an eyebrow. "No can do. He'd end up blowing up my ship in an 'experiment', and then I'd have to kill him. I'd regret it, but I'd do it. Prim would miss him and you'd regret not doing more to patch up the relationship."

Damn it, he was right. Billy was used to how Sigurd just... was good at reading people. So he took a moment to figure out how he was going to phrase his next question.

"So... are there any magic words or anything that'd make him back off on the wedding thing for now?" Billy asked him hopefully. "Something I can bring up the next time he gets started on me getting married."

For a few moments Sigurd mulled over this, before saying slowly, "There was this one time while we were at Jugend-he'd been flirting pretty heavily with another teacher, but it was nothing serious. It was… Leila Brandt, if I remember right-anyway, your grandmother got word of it and tried to make sure _they_ got married."

Billy blinked. "Bzzt. Bet that didn't go over well."

"It did not, Jesiah threw such a fuss I'm surprised Solaris didn't fall from the sky _then_. Just mention Leila if you want him to back off. Or the time he blew up Miang's quarters. Or the time he managed to blow up the cafeteria."

"...Why did he have so much access to things that went boom?"

"No one knows for sure. Every time his munitions privileges revoked he somehow managed to get them back. I'll talk to him to next time I see him, if you want?"

"Please? Prim loves him, I don't want to have shoot him when she can see it because he won't let up..."

In the distance they could hear Bart's scream of "I'm not ready, LET IT GO" and realized Jesiah had to have found another victim for his current scheme. They shared a resigned look before heading in that direction; it was better to break it up now before either one snapped and did something they'd regret later.

A/N: Cross posted to my AO3 account as well.


End file.
